Tuesday, March 8, 2016

A New Year/ A New Class/ A New..... me? Maybe?

    So it has come to my attention that this blog is my every other month ventor-sharing-write up. I hold in all these moments and feelings and then WHAM, I come back here and write them all down. I think it's my way of just draining all this exhausted stress and emotions that are gnawing at my mind. I can't quite complain all that much... well I'm sure I could think of something, but let's try keeping positive shall we?

    I believe my last post was a poem/little random write I did about two months ago. And since then, we've crossed into a new year! I've seen Star Wars, I've gotten only one good class for college, I've been learning to drive, I've seen my ex get a new girlfriend, I've seen my best friend end her long time relationship. I've gotten that gap between my thighs back (woohoo), and lastly, I've seen my niece laugh.

    I could end it there; but what fun would that be? Truth is, overall, I can see this year in two ways: first way, is the road to success way. This path takes me down to getting my license, getting a job, getting those classes, and just getting things together. The other scenario is just a path that looks like where I'm at currently. Still stuck, still scared, still not going anywhere. And it would hurt me so much to think of myself in the same spot I'm at now, in a year. Life is meant to be lived in the fullest.

    However, this means I need many things to pack into my "POSSITIVE CAMPER BACKPACK,".
Such as:
[ A Calm Spirit ]
[A lack of fear when it comes to asking questions]
[A Reason]
[Many Deep Breaths]
[A Realization that this is not the end of the world]
       Like I've mentioned in previous posts, I'm not sure who's reading these posts, but if you're out there, know you're not the only stressed out female/male/human. And here's the best advice I can give you. This advice, does not mean be a slacker or not motivated. But more-so, to know these things are only minor. My advice is, "So What?"
          "So What?"
if I have an F on this paper..
*If you get a bad grade; learn from it. Don't let it fail you completely.*
"So What?"
if I don't have a flat stomach..
*I can work out, or eat better, or embrace this. Learn to love my body.*
"So What?"
if I currently don't have friends..
*That doesn't mean you're unlikeable, just get out there and explore. Others will see your happiness and want to be inspired like you.

Monday, November 23, 2015


I close my eyes as the coolness of evening brushes my checks,
a hush of leaves rustle above me, they fall slowly, twinkling down like fallen stars.
Darkness peers it's way from the east, sending a faint and shocking breeze of cold air.
My eyes, still closed. I listen, and shiver, as this coldness covers me.

A thickness of cloud and nightfall mash together in the sky,
blues and blacks intertwine as one, I hear them and their deep tones.
As the sky blends in deep tunes, I feel that coldness once again slam against my bare skin.
I look down, one by one, drops paint the sidewalk by my feet, dark speckles.

The sidewalk wears its freckles as they drop upon me.
I take a deep breathe, inhaling the sweetness of the sharp cold air.
The smell of wet pavement and the feeling of wet sparks striking my senses,
I shiver from the rain and exhale; my breathe leaving me like smoke.


Friday, November 20, 2015

Traveling, break ups, and staying true.

   So over the course of this blank period in this blog, a lot has happened. I think my last post was in August, so we've missed quite a lot of each other since then. Halloween, the beginning of fall, most of November, POOF, so much time gone. But I'm trying to come back, blogging needs to start up again!

    Most of these months have been filled with school, dates, friend outings, and church. Pretty basic and not much to really highlight. But now my life has gone through another one of those rinse cycles where everything happens at once. In the beginning of September, I started planning to go on a missions trip to Argentina with a group from church. Our goal was to build a soccer field for the community and to draw the neighborhood in for a big BBQ celebrating it's opening at the church. Speed up to now and that trip is now over. I'll describe the full experience in another post; but for now I'll define it in just three words: Crazy, Spanish, Rewarding.

   I learned and gained so much through that experience, and through that, I came to realizing a lot in my life. If you knew me, you'd know that my religious life comes first. It's so important to me, and though I may not be the most devoted, I still hold true towards it's standards and life styles. A few months ago I was baptized and back then I was still very questioning towards my faith; I still lacked a lot of devotion towards it; and I doubted it (I'm sad to say). But these few months I've been tested in many ways; making me chose between what's more important. And I'm happy with how I am now. I've grown, and I feel much more mature on things.

     Through my growing experience; I've had to leave some of my ways and choices behind. And one of those choices was my boyfriend. We broke up a few weeks back; for many reasons, but mostly because we both wanted someone who would accept us fully. He never fully respected or accepted my religious beliefs, and I never accepted his life style either. And that caused a lot of friction and harden feelings. I'm sad that it had to happen, but I feel more so glad that it did. We've remained friends and it's been okay returning back to that level.

    So that's the traveling, and the break up, now we're at the end; staying true. This all has affected me greatly, I feel that going through all of this has made me gain a lot of aspects toward myself. I gained, confidence, self-worth, independence, and a true grasp of what God means to me. I could've left it for a guy, and not gone on that mission trip. I could have let my romantic feelings get the best of me and give into sinful behavior. I could have ruined my purity and self worth. "I could have".

   I'm not sure who reads these posts; or what you're life may be like. But I just want to say, please stay true to yourself. Whether it be towards a political belief, a dating issue, a school problem, literally anything. Just stick to your guns. And don't let anyone push you towards anything you don't want to say or do. And don't let anyone be-little your dreams, ideas, or goals. This is your life; and you deserve the absolute best. Find people who will support you and encourage you. And be kind to yourself; be your own cheerleader. Life is hard enough.  And just know there are people who care. We're out here; and we can all relate to your problems. We've all been there. So hang in there!

Friday, August 7, 2015

The Vintage Geek (#2)

     Since my last "Vintage Geek" post did so well, I've decided to do yet another one. The last three outfits were all based off girls of the video game world. Each coming from a totally different gaming station, game genre, and overall style. This time, I tried yet again to capture those different features with this theme. Our Vintage Geek theme this go'round is,
"Girls from the world of Hayao Miyazaki"
   I've always LOVED these films and the characters are all different and fun. Hayao has been able to capture so much within his characters, that I couldn't resist trying to create a modern outfit for these three girls. All are bright and different, and each capture a vintage touch as well as capturing the character's film.
First is Sophie from the film Howl's Moving Castle. She is a quiet and very modest
young hatter and doesn't seek very much out of life. But through the film, she finds herself wound up into a huge and magical adventure. I decided to give her a more cute-sy approach, finding a dress near the same shade of green; a pair of leather pumps (she originally had leather boots); and of course I had to add her straw hat. The dress itself is styled in the times of 1960, and is fairly shorter than Sophie's actual dress, it also has a rounded collar. For alittle flair, I put Howl's ring as her jewelry piece.

           Next is Mei from My Neighbor Totoro. She is the younger sister to Suzuki and the first of the two of them to see and meet the great Totoro. With her curious nature and playfulness, I decided to stay very true to what she already had. Unlike Sophie, I kept all lengths the same and I tried very hard to keep it matching. Mei's short overall skirt is by far one of my favorite items among all three of these outfits. It has a 1950's flair and playful bright colors. And like the last outfit, I added a fun piece of jewelry to really show some of the characters essence. I added a little acorn charm to resemble the acorns Mei received from Totoro as a gift.

Princess Mononoke is our last for this set of outfits. This one I could
see being warn at a beach or some place cooler. I love the colors that Mononoke has and if it was normal looking I would wear her mask with this outfit! But sadly you may get some looks. I found an old white wool sweater to represent her white fluffy shirt and hood. I went with purple shorts to represent the skirt and lastly, I added some soft red converse to add some red into the outfit (since she had red in her mask and face makeup). And last, for it's fun jewelry piece I added a wood piece necklace to keep her woodsy feel.
Hope you enjoyed these! Comment below and tell me your favorite!
Or let me know which theme we should do next!
Till next write,

Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Change is good~ish.. right?

  So I'm not sure if it's just me, but something has changed within me these few past years. I don't know if it's the smack of realization and reality, or if something inside has mentally changed within me. But over these years, anxiety and change have become two big factors in my world. The sudden shock of growing up and reality have now been plopped into my lap, and in all honesty, this terrifies me.

  I'm not sure if it's uncertainty or the "newness" to these situations I'm now encountering, but I have never been more alone. It seems like what once was normal and familiar is now an unfriendly cold place. Home is still home, in a sense; but too much is different now. I feel so different.

  College is something I never really was raised into. There was no prepping, no dream college, no savings, nothing. Not that I can blame my parents for this, but because of this childhood environment and this sort of "Peter Pan" feeling I have put upon myself, this growing up thing has really and truly startled me. I feel behind, lazy, unaccomplished, confused, frustrated, and overly covered in self-pity.
It makes me sad that this is the way I'm starting things off for myself. Highschool graduate whose afraid of taking a step out.

  I know that life is really not this hard, and that most of this fear and anxiety is all coming from my own thoughts, but when you feel trapped and alone, it is easy to quickly fill yourself up with these fears. 

  Through this however, I have noticed myself drawing nearer towards my religious beliefs. No matter what life has thrown my way, I know that my religious beliefs have always stayed the same. I may have changed, grown farther apart, but my church and my foundation has always still been there. No matter how much I let go, my hand is still gripping onto my religious beliefs. So in some way, this whole jump into adulthood and change has drawn me nearer.

   I pray every day, and I hope to overcome this. I really really hope I can not only overcome it, but learn and grow and strengthen myself. Learn to rise above these fears and anxieties. To whomever is out there reading this, if you feel the same way, just anxious and alone and frustrated. Know you're not alone. If anything just know there are others out there like you. We're all a bit unprepared for these things. But change happens, an change is what you make of it. It can be good.

Tuesday, April 14, 2015

The Love Stories People Want to Hear.

       So I've been seeing all sorts of love themed stories and films revolving around the common themes. Tell me if any of these sound familiar..

"A young casual girl, stuck in her day to day life stumbles upon a guy who is so far from her
typical life style. And through him, she experiences adventure, excitement, lust, and true love."
"When a girl begins working for a high class rich snob who treats her like dirt; she thinks nothing can get any worse. That is until she sees his true side and comes to find that love was there all along."
Yeah, they all fall into the same lines and endings. Obviously, however, these
generic story lines must be working because all these types of movies keep coming out. It's the perfect recipe for crummy acting, short easy plots, lots of money, lots of Oscars, and ultimately another boring romance story.

From what I can capture from today's love stories, people want these themes:

Easy Access :  To make transportation / financial decisions / spending / and really an access towards a wide open world. You want an expensive car? Make the characters insanely rich. Want to travel the world without means to how they could afford it? Have the characters wealth be from a long family inheritance.

Bitter - Sweet Love Story : People want that rivalry or bitterness between the girl and boy. A sort of enemy story for the first part, but in the end, the two find that they actually do love each other.

and lastly..

Stupidity : Always, always, always, there is one in the mix that is just so dumbly oblivious towards the others' love interest in them that when they're told they just are so flabbergasted. It's annoying and stupid and is used far too much within many books and shows of today.

As for the many popular love stories of today, many lack this sort of innocence. This word
"innocence" is used so rarely today. There was a time were love stories were developed slowly, creating a deeper back story and build up to the final kiss or attraction. But we live in a world of quick satisfaction, immediate connections. But what happened to making a love story more than just lustful moments, quick hook ups, and an unsure feeling with each relationship?

If you really think about it, these shows, books, and connections are in a continuous trap
of boring old love scenarios. It's speed through, nothing is thought out or preciously timed.
The most beautiful love stories are ones that take time. Ones that are made off of friendship.
Ones that are relatable. Require sacrifice. And most of all, are innocent.
Reasoning why? Well, for one thing, these traits describe a couple that
are best friends (usually) and show a developing affection. Usually, a friendship can create a relationship that is built on respect and trust. They've seen your ups and downs, your family and friends, so they know that inside part of you already.
Secondly, a relationship builds up better this way. Being in a friendship, then taking it
to a serious relationship can (and should be) nice and slow, getting to know these holding hand gestures, hugging and all that bleh romance stuff. But because they're already your friend, these moments have been waiting and have been built up, so when they do happen, they're genuine. Making them much more special.
My best examples :
An older couple who have survived through war and life's problems
Childhood Sweethearts who have stuck together
An innocent courtship
 People like to see a character grow, and especially in a relationship. It's like
watching a kid grow up, you see it all unfold. But sadly, on most of todays romance novels and shows, it's all about fast lustful action. Meeting strangers and just going out for the heck of it. No thought went into any of it. And usually they end up pulling the, 'Oh gosh! I was drunk! Who are you!?' line. Ugh, it's just stupid. And honestly, saddening to know that so many relationships come from true events such as this.
But there is hope, there is still lovely moments to be held in both
real and fictional life. And if anything, this should just make us strive to really make these moments in our life special.
And have a love story worth telling.

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

The Vintage Geek (#1)

    So I'm not sure how many of you out there have seen these "Disney Bound" outfits around Pinterest and other websites, but for those who aren't sure of what these are, I'll update you real quick. So DisneyBound is, from what I'm understanding, an organization that creates outfits including accessories and bases them off of Disney characters. These outfits sometimes turn out pretty good, which inspired me to create some to share with you.

     If you've seen my other blogs, you may have noticed I'm a bit of a fangirl when it comes to gaming, comics, animes and other things of these genres. And, as you've seen on this blog, I'm very much into all things vintage and classic. So, it just seemed suiting that I mash the two together and give you some vintage outfits inspired by all things geeky. I hope to continue this series (The Vintage Geek) if you all enjoy it, and with each new write, I will conduct a series of new vintage geeky outfits. This first collection, however, is based off the ladies of the gamer world!


I was going for a fifties theme. Between the skirt and the shoes, however, the over
all style leaned more toward the forties. (Between the shoes and the skirt.) Overall, this would be a perfect outfit for any vintage or Kingdom Hearts fan.

For this outfit, there are two vintage aspects here. The game, and the look. As I searched
through several dresses for Ms.Pacman, all I could think of was the bright yellow rain coats that they wore in Singing in the Rain. And just looking at the hood alone, I can already see Ms.Pacman's mouth! The rain boots and bow added that finished touch to that classic look.

And lastly, Princess Zelda. A favorite of mine with a prominent purple dress.
It was quite easy to find a good shade of purple for the gown, and the rest of the accessories all followed along. With a gold chained belt, a hint of blue in the ring, and that symbolic tri-force ring, it's an easy outfit for the Zelda lover.