Monday, November 23, 2015

Raindrops

I close my eyes as the coolness of evening brushes my checks,
a hush of leaves rustle above me, they fall slowly, twinkling down like fallen stars.
Darkness peers it's way from the east, sending a faint and shocking breeze of cold air.
My eyes, still closed. I listen, and shiver, as this coldness covers me.

A thickness of cloud and nightfall mash together in the sky,
blues and blacks intertwine as one, I hear them and their deep tones.
As the sky blends in deep tunes, I feel that coldness once again slam against my bare skin.
I look down, one by one, drops paint the sidewalk by my feet, dark speckles.

The sidewalk wears its freckles as they drop upon me.
I take a deep breathe, inhaling the sweetness of the sharp cold air.
The smell of wet pavement and the feeling of wet sparks striking my senses,
I shiver from the rain and exhale; my breathe leaving me like smoke.


  

Friday, November 20, 2015

Traveling, break ups, and staying true.

   So over the course of this blank period in this blog, a lot has happened. I think my last post was in August, so we've missed quite a lot of each other since then. Halloween, the beginning of fall, most of November, POOF, so much time gone. But I'm trying to come back, blogging needs to start up again!

    Most of these months have been filled with school, dates, friend outings, and church. Pretty basic and not much to really highlight. But now my life has gone through another one of those rinse cycles where everything happens at once. In the beginning of September, I started planning to go on a missions trip to Argentina with a group from church. Our goal was to build a soccer field for the community and to draw the neighborhood in for a big BBQ celebrating it's opening at the church. Speed up to now and that trip is now over. I'll describe the full experience in another post; but for now I'll define it in just three words: Crazy, Spanish, Rewarding.

   I learned and gained so much through that experience, and through that, I came to realizing a lot in my life. If you knew me, you'd know that my religious life comes first. It's so important to me, and though I may not be the most devoted, I still hold true towards it's standards and life styles. A few months ago I was baptized and back then I was still very questioning towards my faith; I still lacked a lot of devotion towards it; and I doubted it (I'm sad to say). But these few months I've been tested in many ways; making me chose between what's more important. And I'm happy with how I am now. I've grown, and I feel much more mature on things.

     Through my growing experience; I've had to leave some of my ways and choices behind. And one of those choices was my boyfriend. We broke up a few weeks back; for many reasons, but mostly because we both wanted someone who would accept us fully. He never fully respected or accepted my religious beliefs, and I never accepted his life style either. And that caused a lot of friction and harden feelings. I'm sad that it had to happen, but I feel more so glad that it did. We've remained friends and it's been okay returning back to that level.

    So that's the traveling, and the break up, now we're at the end; staying true. This all has affected me greatly, I feel that going through all of this has made me gain a lot of aspects toward myself. I gained, confidence, self-worth, independence, and a true grasp of what God means to me. I could've left it for a guy, and not gone on that mission trip. I could have let my romantic feelings get the best of me and give into sinful behavior. I could have ruined my purity and self worth. "I could have".

   I'm not sure who reads these posts; or what you're life may be like. But I just want to say, please stay true to yourself. Whether it be towards a political belief, a dating issue, a school problem, literally anything. Just stick to your guns. And don't let anyone push you towards anything you don't want to say or do. And don't let anyone be-little your dreams, ideas, or goals. This is your life; and you deserve the absolute best. Find people who will support you and encourage you. And be kind to yourself; be your own cheerleader. Life is hard enough.  And just know there are people who care. We're out here; and we can all relate to your problems. We've all been there. So hang in there!